Hi everyone!  Thanks for your patience with the continuation of Grady’s story.  I started this post a long time ago but had lots of starts and stops along the way to getting it done.  The chronological part of the story left off back in November of 2022 so if you’d like to read the prequel to this post, click here.

Our time at Jayne’s barn was wonderful for Grady and me.  We had a whole new support system and we saw Jayne so much more often.  Her other clients and the barn owner were so friendly.  The staff had gotten to know Grady through the time he spent there at the clinics so that was an added benefit.

Now that we were spending more time in an indoor arena, a new issue that came up from time to time was noises from above.  The sound of raindrops hitting the roof bothered Grady, especially if the rain was heavy.  In one of our clinic sessions, there was a bad storm and it rained so hard that Grady couldn’t handle it.  Jacquie was very understanding and suggested putting him away and trying again later.  When we came back out after the heavy rain had stopped, Grady did great. 

Luckily, it didn’t often rain that hard, but what was more of an issue was the huge fans at both ends of the indoor.  The one at the near end was set back behind an area overlooking the arena so it wasn’t usually a problem.  The one at the far end, however, hummed and sometimes rattled right overhead on the short side wall and Grady wanted no part of it.  The arena was very large so it was easy to avoid that end but sometimes that wasn’t enough.  Again, this was only an issue during the hot, humid summer months and we did the best we could.  This would be something we’d need to work on for a long time.

Another wonderful experience we had while at Jayne’s barn was riding in a few horse shows.  Two of them were at the barn and another one was about an hour away so Grady spent the night.  After spending so many years on the show circuit, it was a nice change to do some low-key schooling shows just for fun.  

Two things I love about dressage shows are having an actual time for your rides and getting written feedback from the judges.  Since you get scores for each movement in a dressage test, you can have some mistakes but if you do other things well, you can end up with a good overall score.  All I wanted out of the experience was for Grady to gain some more confidence and for both of us to have some fun.  Getting some good scores and blue ribbons was icing on the cake!

In the summer of 2015, I had the opportunity to travel to California and meet Monty Roberts.  I knew about Monty and his methods and I was intrigued to learn more since I had been dabbling in some groundwork with Grady.  Monty and his wife, Pat, often hosted groups of people at the farm to learn about his work with horses and my visit overlapped with one of these events so there was a lot going on.  Watching Monty do one of his famous “Join Up” sessions up close and personal was amazing.  He explained what he was doing as he moved the horse around the round pen as we all watched from an elevated viewing area that encircled the perimeter of the round pen.  Within 30 minutes, Monty had the previously never saddled horse not only saddled and bridled but also carrying a rider, all with no use of force.

When I returned home, I couldn’t wait to try doing a join-up with Grady.  There was a round pen at the barn up on a hill overlooking the farm.  I had taken Grady up there a few times to ride around the property but had never had him loose in the round pen.

It was a little nerve-wracking when I first let him loose, but after running around for a few minutes, he began to focus on me and I was able to get him to change direction back and forth and walk, trot and canter on my voice and body language.  When he started to show signs of relaxation, I was able to get him to come in to me and ultimately follow me around the round pen, still loose, but totally relaxed and mirroring my every move.  It was pretty amazing.  This kind of work was definitely something I wanted to learn more about.

In the spring of 2016, I received the news that the owner of Jayne’s barn was going to be selling the farm and that we would have to find a new home.  Although most of Jayne’s clients were going to a nearby barn, I knew of a suitable place right down the road from the barn I was managing so, on July 1, that was where Grady would call home. 

This barn had a friendly, family atmosphere even though the boarders rode in various disciplines with different trainers.  Grady had a nice big window that looked out at the beautiful scenery and he loved to watch the activity around the farm.  Jayne met us for a lesson not long after the move which gave us a great start at our new place. 

Unfortunately, Grady wasn’t happy with everything at his new home.  A couple of weeks after our arrival, Grady decided that the fan at the end of the aisle near his stall was a big monster.  One day when I got to the barn, I could tell he had been anxiously circling around in his stall and I suspected that it was the fan, even though he had been fine with it since the day we moved in.  He even enjoyed standing in front of it to cool off after our rides.  I don’t know what changed.

One afternoon, I got a call from the barn manager that Grady was circling around in his stall nervously and not eating his dinner.  I asked her to try turning off the fan and she said that helped.  The bad news was that a heat wave was coming and we’d really need that fan to be on.  Luckily, there was an empty stall with an individual stall fan in one of the other barns on the property so that became Grady’s new quarters.  He liked that much better and he still had a great view.

Once the fan issue was resolved, we were able to focus on our riding and continued to have great lessons with Jayne.  With the barn’s busy schedule and varied disciplines and trainers, I sometimes found it difficult to find quiet times in the ring, but we made the most of it and used each experience as an opportunity to learn.  If someone was jumping, I would stand with Grady out of the way and let him watch.  Most of the time, he was ok with that, except for the time that he wasn’t, and as the jumping horse approached the corner where we stood, Grady decided to freak out and scoot sideways into his path.  They managed to avoid us but how embarrassing!

In March 2017, I attended a Horse Expo in Harrisburg, PA.  While walking around the shopping area toward the end of the first day, I noticed a round pen where a clinic was just starting.  I looked at my schedule and saw “Scott Purdum – Despooking the Fearful Horse”. I immediately stopped to watch and really liked what I saw. 

The main premise of the clinic was that any horse can spook at any time, but if you teach the horse how to spook, it can make all the difference.  I won’t go into all the details here, but ultimately the horse who was in the session learned to stop and stand when the spooky thing happened (in this case it was the audience applauding on command).

After the session, I found Scott’s booth and bought some of his equipment and a training DVD.  I couldn’t wait to get home and try some of the techniques with Grady.  Happening upon that clinic turned out to be life-changing for Grady and me. 

When I got home, I started working on the exercises I had learned at the clinic.  Grady was taking to it very well and it was fun to have new things to work on toward the end of winter. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to find quiet times in the ring to work on my groundwork and I was beginning to feel this barn was no longer the best fit for us. Around that time, a stall became available in the barn where Jayne’s other clients had moved so I decided to take it.  This barn was smaller with an attached indoor ring and a more consolidated schedule.  It was practically guaranteed that I would have the place to myself if I planned to work with Grady in the late afternoon. Those quiet times together really strengthened our bond and we were able to make great progress.

One issue at the new barn was that when the sun warmed up the metal roof on the indoor ring, it made loud crackling noises which freaked Grady out.  We worked on our ground exercises and Grady learned to stop and stand when he was afraid rather than bolt and run off.  After a few months, I could actually see Grady’s thought process when something scared him and he ultimately learned to stop on his own without being told.  Once that got really solid, I was able to then teach him to continue without stopping and the result was him slowing down and remaining calm. 

We also used this method when dealing with the noise and movement from the indoor ring ceiling fans.  The fans in this indoor weren’t as huge as the ones at the other barn but they were different in that they hung straight down from the rafters.  The other ones were more built into the wall.  Either way, they were fans, they made noise overhead and they were scary.

I really enjoyed the groundwork I was doing with Grady and, even though I was still working with Jayne, I started to take the pressure off myself to always ride Grady in between our lessons.  Much of the time, our groundwork was more successful than our solo rides and Grady was more relaxed which resulted in better, more productive work.  He always shined in our lessons so I figured it was working for him too.  Grady enjoyed all the games and variety and he started to clown around as well. 

One day, I draped a tarp over him and he reached around, pulled it off his back and shook it around as if to say “See, the noise doesn’t scare me anymore!”.

When I did ride Grady on my own, I started to change it up and get more playful with it.  I began incorporating some of the desensitization work I had been doing on the ground into my rides.  We got to the point where I could wave a windsock around on his back and even ride around carrying a small flag.

I was finding a good balance between doing groundwork and riding while focusing on being present in the moment when Grady and I worked together.  The biggest thing that groundwork helped us with was that if Grady was in a nervous or overly energetic mood, I had more tools to use to help him work through it which always resulted in a positive session. 

In addition to our lessons with Jayne, we attended more clinics with Jacquie. Since Jayne’s former farm hadn’t sold yet, we had a few opportunities to ship back there for the clinics which was amazing.  Grady had grown so much over the past few years since we started working with Jayne and Jacquie…not only mentally but physically.  He actually appeared so much bigger than he used to and he carried himself so differently.

During what ended up being our last clinic with Jacquie (before Covid stopped them), I was walking around on Grady and we happened to be at the far end of the indoor arena where the (previously) scary fan was running.  A new woman I hadn’t seen before at the clinics was handwalking her tacked-up horse to help him acclimate to the new environment.  I heard a voice behind me but it took a minute to realize she was talking to me.

“Excuse me, would you mind if we followed you past the fan?  My horse is a little nervous about it.”

She wanted to follow Grady and me past the fan for confidence….wow….what a testament to Grady’s journey.  I took a deep breath, smiled to myself, and proudly answered “Of course!”.

I’m so grateful for all we’ve been through together. 

Grady’s story will continue next month…stay tuned!

Hello readers!  I feel like my last few posts have all started by saying “Sorry it’s been so long since my last post” or something like that.  Writing is something I love to do but often have trouble fitting into my days.  As a result, I always end up having big gaps in between posts.  That’s something I have to work on. 

Grady is doing fine and celebrated his 23^rd birthday on January 31^st.  I had been working on the next part of his story but for the majority of the past year, my energy was directed more towards Grady’s canine “brother”, Benjamin.

In 2014, my husband, Gary and I were looking to adopt a male chocolate lab.  One night, while researching Petfinder.com, Gary began the process of filling out some forms.  I can’t remember if there was a specific dog in mind or not, but it got late, and Gary decided he would complete the forms the next morning.  However, his computer performed an automatic update and restarted, losing the application that he had filled out the night before.  Just as he was getting ready to start filling out the form again, his mother called.  She had a friend who knew a breeder who just had a litter of labs and there was one chocolate male.  It was meant to be.  Eight weeks later, that little bundle became our Benjamin. 

Ben was very high-energy and incredibly intelligent.  He would look at you with such intensity in his eyes and you’d swear you could hear what he was thinking.  He loved to catch tennis balls and he adopted a soft pink frisbee as one of his all-time favorite toys.  He loved to carry it around in his mouth, even when we weren’t playing catch.

Ben loved the snow and would dig in it until he almost disappeared.  When it was piled high, he would climb to the top and look around like he was king of the mountain.

He also loved to swim.  He had a chocolate lab friend with a pool and they loved to swim together.  Ben would refuse to get out of the pool, even when I thought he’d had enough.  He would approach the stairs and then, just as I would reach to get him, he would twirl around for another lap.  I called him Michael Phelps. 

When we tried dock diving, Ben was so excited to jump in the water, we had to hold him back as we threw his toy and then, like a loaded spring he ran down the dock and leaped in with no hesitation. 

He also had the same enthusiasm when we arrived at his agility lessons.  He would whimper and shriek until we let him onto the course and then he would usually make a beeline for the A-frame and go up and down before we could get him to focus on doing the course in order. 

Ben had so many little games he invented and ways about him – too many to list here – but to say he was a special individual is an understatement.  Ben was extraordinary.

In April of 2023, we heard about OncoK9, an early-detection cancer test for dogs.  Since Benjamin was 9 years old and fit the criteria for testing, we decided to do the test.  He had absolutely no symptoms and we thought we were doing it just as a precaution, so we were totally shocked when it came back “cancer signal detected”.

The test doesn’t tell the exact cancer that is detected, but it does suggest the next steps that should be taken.  In Ben’s case, chest x-rays and an abdominal ultrasound were recommended.  These tests revealed Hemangiosarcoma in his spleen.  Hemangiosarcoma is a very aggressive cancer of the blood vessels with a poor prognosis.  Surgery to remove his spleen was scheduled and once he recovered from that, Ben would undergo 5 rounds of chemotherapy 3 weeks apart.  He tolerated the treatments pretty well, although after his fourth treatment, he became very ill.  His gastrointestinal tract had basically shut down and he ended up being hospitalized for almost a week.  We were terrified that we were going to lose him at that point, but he rallied and ultimately bounced back to his old self.  The final treatment went much better, but an ultrasound revealed that he still had some nodules in his abdomen which suggested metastasis. 

He continued treatment on low-dose oral chemo pills and some homeopathic supplements and had no idea that anything was wrong with him. We were even able to take him on a trip to Cape Cod for some well-deserved fun.

Most of the time, when a dog receives this diagnosis, it is because they are showing symptoms or a tumor ruptures causing internal bleeding and their survival time is short.  Because of the OncoK9 test, we caught it very early which bought us more time.  Not as much time as we had hoped but we did get nine more months with him. 

By the end of the year, the cancer had caused severe anemia and it was getting to the point where he was not feeling well and we had to do a blood transfusion.  That helped for a little while but not long enough and his red blood cell count dropped again.  His appetite had decreased and he was very picky about what he would eat.  We knew we were running out of time, but other than his poor appetite and slight lethargy, Ben was still Ben and he wasn’t ready to go. 

We were faced with the decision of whether to do another transfusion.  On one hand, it felt selfish to put him through it, but on the other hand, if it gave us some more time together then maybe it was worth trying. So we did. 

Another transfusion meant another couple of nights at the hospital.  When we visited him, he was happy to see us but was very tired.  I had some moments of guilt and regret as we snuggled with him, but I was thankful to still be able to hug him and kiss his soft, furry head.  The next day when we picked him up, he was more perky and what ended up being our last evening with him was filled with lots of snuggles and love. 

The next morning it was clear that Ben was losing the battle and we couldn’t let him go on.  He fought so hard for so long and was so brave through it all.  I was thankful for the snow that had fallen so he had a chance to lie in it and eat it like he always loved to do.  I was thankful for all the fun things we had done together, even though I felt like we weren’t done and it was too soon.  I was really hoping Ben would make it to his 10^th birthday but it was not to be. 

Today – March 9, 2024 – is Ben’s 10^th birthday and he’s been gone for almost two months. So now it’s time to celebrate his life so that all the wonderful memories will eventually bring smiles instead of tears.

Happy Birthday Benjamin.  We miss you, we love you and you will never be forgotten.

This post is in honor of a very special horse my family lost exactly eight years ago today.  He was a big part of Grady’s early years with me and a central part of our family for 19 years.  The beginning picks up where my last post left off so click here if you need a refresher.

Riding Grady in that clinic with Jacquie Brooks was a huge confidence booster and a perfect stepping stone to the next phase in our training.  Over the next couple of years, we continued our lessons with Jayne at home and riding in clinics with Jacquie.  We still had our ups and downs, but the tougher rides didn’t upset me as much as they used to because I knew Grady always rose to the occasion when we did our lessons and clinics.  I continued to work on being mindful in our rides and deal with each day as it came.  Then, in the summer of 2014, everything changed….

At the time when Grady came into my life, there was another very special horse who had already been part of our family for 12 years.  Toby was purchased in 1995 at the age of 5 as our “family fun horse”.  We had been looking for a type like him to have around as an overall good guy who my dad could ride and who we could use for pony rides and guest rides.  The funny thing is that I was paid to ride him that first day we met.  I rode for a local professional who bought and sold horses and she had just acquired Toby.  The minute I saw him, I was in love and when I rode him, I knew for sure he was meant to be ours. 

“I think I found our family fun horse!” I exclaimed to my mom later that day.

She joined me the next day to video my ride on Toby. With his smooth gaits and quiet demeanor, I still believed Toby was the one and my mom agreed.  It didn’t hurt that he was also absolutely adorable!

After a trial period at our farm followed by a pre-purchase veterinary exam, Toby became a member of the family.  Over the next few months, as I worked with Toby and he got more fit, we realized that Toby was even more than a family pet.  He became quite adept at jumping and we had success at local shows.  He even won some year-end awards that still hang on the wall upstairs in our barn.

In order to keep things varied, I would trailer Toby to nearby fields and trails for outings.  He always perked up when we got to a new place and carried an energy that he lacked during ring work. It was a great opportunity to build on his fitness while allowing him to have a little extra fun.  We thoroughly enjoyed these adventures together.

My mom also enjoyed riding Toby.  After years of riding Thoroughbreds, a lazy Quarter Horse was a new experience, but she soon realized that he was more sensitive to subtle aids than she thought.  You just had to know how to ask.

When Grady came along, Toby was 17 years old.  He was a good buddy for Grady with his quiet confidence mixed with a goofiness that kept us all smiling.  Grady’s confidence would be years in the making but I know those early years with Toby have stayed with him. 

One of the most important jobs Toby had in his later years was taking care of my two nieces, Tess and Vida.  When Tess was born, Toby was 19.  When she was old enough for us to put her up on his back for the first time, he was 21 and she was just barely two years old. 

She loved the experience and got to do it quite often on her visits to Grandma and Grandpa’s.  I even wrote an article about Tess’s first ride on Toby which was published in Equus Magazine.

When Vida was born, Toby was 22.  Tess had gotten big enough to groom him and enjoyed showing her little sister all about how to take care of him and ride him. 

Over the years, Toby had some hoof issues, but one day in the summer of 2014, something was different.  The vet came out and took xrays and it did not look good.  Despite all the precautions we took over the years, our worst nightmare had come true….Toby had foundered.

The next few months were spent trying to nurse Toby back to health.  He was on stall rest, so I did my best to spend as much time as I could hanging out with him.  I would groom him and sit outside his stall and read to him. 

He seemed to enjoy the time we spent together but I knew he couldn’t go on like this forever.  There were times when it looked like things might be improving but, by late October, it was becoming clear that Toby was not going to recover.

In early November, after much discussion with our vets, we all agreed that the most humane thing to do would be to euthanize Toby.  The vets offered to come over in the morning and inject a nerve block that would numb his hoof which would allow us to walk him around and graze him comfortably.  His last hours were spent doing what he loved most….eating grass. 

Saying goodbye to Toby was gut-wrenching but we found solace in the fact that his last few hours were spent pain-free and surrounded by people who loved him.  The transition was peaceful and everything went as well as could be expected. 

After it was done, I brought Grady out to see Toby so he could process what had happened.  Grady took me right over to Toby’s lifeless body and gave it a sniff.  He suddenly jumped backward and snorted, looking at Toby with wide eyes.  Then, he stepped back up to him and gently started nibbling his shoulder, as if trying to wake him.  When that didn’t work, Grady simply started nibbling the nearby grass.  I think he was experiencing grief in his own way.

They told me what was going to be happening that day.  I don’t know why I got so surprised when I first sniffed Toby….I guess it was because he seemed so different.  But I could still feel him around me.  I could feel all the confidence he had given me, all the reassurance over the years when I was afraid and unsure of my place in the world.  That was something I knew I could always carry with me.  Toby was part of me even after he was gone.

Now that Grady was alone in the barn, we decided to move him to Jayne’s barn for the winter.  He had spent lots of time there at all the clinics so we knew he’d feel at home, and he’d have lots of buddies to help him through his loss.

That winter was very productive and Grady continued to progress. Having daily access to an indoor arena allowed him to stay in consistent work and having Jayne around all the time allowed us to have more lessons.  I always loved when we would be in the ring while Jayne was teaching someone else because I felt like Grady tried a little harder since she was there.  I got that feeling a lot when we rode in the ring with others – he gave me the sense that he wanted to impress his new buddies and show them what he could do. 

By the time spring rolled around, my mom and I discussed what the next step should be.  Do we bring Grady back home and figure out a new companion for him or do we keep him boarded?  Ultimately, we decided to stay put because he was thriving in his new surroundings. 

The property was huge and had lots of areas other than a ring to explore. I never thought I would ride Grady around in such wide open space but he really enjoyed it. 

As we rode around the hilly fields with vast views of the valley below, I thought of Toby and how much he would have enjoyed this place. I had the feeling that he was still close by and I knew he would always be with us…in the memories we shared and as we moved forward in our journey together.

Rest in Peace, Toby

April 21, 1990 – November 7, 2014

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.  All that we love deeply becomes part of us – Helen Keller

Hello readers! I’m pleased to share with you the continuation of our story. For a reminder of where we left off, please click here.

By late summer of 2012, Grady had shown tremendous improvement and I was more confident than ever.  In September, Jayne’s trainer, a Canadian Olympian named Jacqueline Brooks, was planning a clinic at Jayne’s barn on her way down to compete at Dressage at Devon.  I decided to go audit the clinic and it really got me motivated.  Jacquie was so upbeat and positive and, even though she was a well-known rider and trainer, you didn’t have to have a fancy horse or be an upper-level dressage rider to ride in her clinic.  Her method was all about helping the horse be the best athlete he can be and her attention to each individual horse and rider was unique to that pair.  I began to think “I would like to do this with Grady” and it actually didn’t sound crazy.

During a break in the clinic sessions, Jacquie rode her horse, D Niro (aka Goose), rehearsing the musical freestyle that she was going to ride at Devon.  Seeing the partnership between Jacquie and Goose so close up was an incredible experience, especially since they were fresh off the heels of the London Olympics.  I felt so lucky to have this inside peek at her preparation for another big competition.  Watching her ride that same freestyle later in the week at Devon via live stream and her winning the class was icing on the cake!  “Ok, I’m definitely riding Grady in the next clinic.” I thought out loud.

Jacquie’s next clinic was scheduled for November and I signed up to do a private lesson the first day and then a semi-private for day two.  I also planned to bring Grady up to Jayne’s barn a couple of days earlier to have a lesson with Jayne and then another day in between to allow Grady more time to settle in.  He hadn’t been off the property in a few years so this was going to be a big deal for him.

A few weeks before the clinic, it occurred to me that I should make sure that my 1993 Kingston horse trailer was up to the task of transporting Grady.  It hadn’t been used in quite a while and it was almost 20 years old after all.  I brought the trailer home for my mechanically inclined husband, Gary, to look over.  While Gary was underneath the trailer checking the stability of the frame, I heard some unfortunate words.

“Um…. you can’t put a horse in here.” He said reluctantly. 

“What?? Why??” I exclaimed.

With that, I got down on the ground and looked at what Gary wanted to show me.  The rust that had developed underneath the trailer was too far gone and the frame would likely need to be replaced.  Kicking myself for not checking out the trailer sooner, I began the search for an alternative method of transportation.  Luckily, I found someone who was available to drop us off and pick us up on the requested days.  We booked it and he got us where we needed to go.

When we first arrived, I spent a lot of time walking Grady around his new surroundings, allowing him to take in the scenery.  He enjoyed looking around and he especially liked seeing his reflection in the big mirror at the end of the indoor arena.

Having spent my whole riding career in the hunter/jumper world, I was a complete unknown in the dressage world, so this was a big deal for me too.  We weren’t in the backyard anymore so it was a little intimidating being there, but Jayne was very reassuring and our lesson on day one went quite well. 

The next day, I walked Grady around the property again, starting in the indoor arena and then venturing outside to let him graze.  At one point something spooked him and he started to run backwards down the hill we were grazing on.  I was able to hang onto him until he stopped and assumed the pose of a statue, staring off in the direction of the scary boogie monster.  After a moment, he resumed grazing.  Phew! 

Later that day I rode him, reviewing what we had worked on the day before but not doing too much since we had two big days ahead of us.  As I tucked Grady in for the night, I couldn’t help but think how far we had come in a little less than a year.  Only a couple of months earlier, the thought of bringing Grady to the next clinic was just that…. a thought…. yet, here we were.

On the first day of the clinic, I worked hard to keep the butterflies in my stomach a secret from Grady.  A lot of people trailered in so there were new horses, new people and a whole new energy but Grady was handling it well.  It was definitely a good thing that we shipped in early –  by the time all this new activity began, Grady had settled in and was more relaxed.  I even got the feeling that he felt important because he was already there. 

Some of the people there were big-time dressage riders and trainers with a whole entourage of people and upper-level dressage horses.  Again, pretty intimidating for little ol’ me and my off the track Thoroughbred with a tendency to fly off the handle without warning.  Oh well, we were here to learn and learn was what we were going to do.  I knew Jayne had our backs and I had seen Jacquie teach enough to know that she would be cool with whatever happened.

When our turn was finally approaching, I spent lots of time grooming Grady and doing our ritual of pre-ride stretches he had come to count on as I tacked him up.  I led him into the arena and let him watch the other horses going around.  I didn’t want to mount up too early since I had no idea how he was going to behave and I didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s ride.

When the previous session was finishing up, I led Grady to the mounting block and got on. (I have to say, with all of Grady’s little issues, standing at the mounting block was something I could always count on him being good about.)  We walked around outside the dressage arena that was set up in the huge indoor arena.  Then, once the other horses had left the arena, Grady and I stepped in and we were officially introduced to Jacquie.

I had signed up for a private session the first day so that Grady would have an easier time concentrating without the distraction of another horse in the arena.  He did really well and only spooked once toward the end of the session – the horse being led into the arena for the next session mouthed the two bits of his double bridle causing a clackety-clack noise that sent Grady into his signature bolt sideways to the right.  Within half a circle, we got back to work and finished nicely.  Tears of pride began welling up and the lump forming in my throat practically choked me.  I was so proud of my boy!

The next day, Grady came out even more relaxed and he picked up right where we left off the day before.  This time, we were in a semi-private with a big, fancy warmblood who was obviously an upper-level dressage horse.  Grady probably took four trot strides for each of the other horse’s one, but I just focused on us and tried to stay out of the other rider’s way. 

While I was warming up at the trot, Jacquie looked over from her conversation with the other student and said “well, I guess you don’t need me anymore!” with a chuckle.  It was fun that she was joking around with me and thought Grady looked that good right at the beginning of the ride.  That set the stage for an even better ride than the previous day and by the time we were done I was on cloud nine!  Thinking back to all those difficult, frustrating rides and all the times I thought I’d never get on Grady again made this accomplishment that much sweeter.  It felt better than any blue ribbon I had won in the past because of what we went through together to get to this point.  And our relationship was that much stronger for it.

When Grady unloaded from the trailer back at home, he had a swagger I had never seen before.  He knew what a big deal this had been, and I could feel that he was proud of himself.  I was proud of myself too, for having the perseverance to get us to this point. 

Hello readers!  I have once again let too much time pass since my last blog post but life has been keeping me busy.  At least that busy life gives me more to write about!  Now I just have to get it done.  I hope you remember where I left off but in case you need a refresher, here is a link to my last post.

And here is where we went from there….

After our second lesson with Jayne, I planned to work on what she had us doing in the lessons throughout the winter as the weather allowed.  My attitude was definitely more positive and I tried to begin each ride with no expectations and just see what the day brought.  Some days were easier than others and my positivity still ebbed and flowed from time to time.  I had spent so long on the Grady rollercoaster and I was getting worn out by it.  But, just as in the past, something made me keep coming out and trying again. 

In between riding, one thing I had begun to dabble with was groundwork.  Grady seemed to gain more confidence with me next to him rather than on his back.  I learned as much as I could through research from good sources, but I also went with what felt right.  I had done some desensitization work with him even before this point because when he began to be so spooky, my gut told me that I needed to expose him to things that made him nervous and help him face his fears. 

I brought out a big green tarp and laid it out in the ring, asking him to walk over it.  When he hesitated, I would toss a treat on the tarp and encourage him to get it, which he usually did.  As he learned this game, the slight hesitation that was present at the beginning disappeared and he marched right over the tarp. 

I also went to the Dollar Store and looked for fun things to use such as windsocks, pinwheels and various holiday decorations.  (Pool noodles would come later).  He was pretty tolerant of these things and I always focused on keeping the sessions fun. 

In order to simulate trailer loading which could sometimes be an issue, I set up two jumps parallel to each other a few feet apart.  I hung a folded tarp on each jump and encouraged Grady to walk through with me.  We would walk in and halt.  Sometimes I would ask him to back out, sometimes we would walk forward.  The goal was to have him stay with me and wait to see what I would ask next.  Unloading him from the trailer was often a challenge because he would want to bolt out backwards so I thought this would be good practice. 

Another exercise I tried with Grady was long reining.  I had never done it before but again, I did some research and then I decided to give it a try.  I’m not quite sure what made me think of trying long reining but I’m glad I did because Grady really took to it.  Sometimes I had a harder time figuring out how to hold all those lines in my hands than he had figuring out what I wanted him to do.  He would often do things right even when I messed up.  Most of the time our sessions went very well but there was one day when things didn’t go quite according to plan.

The session started out normally and Grady was being a good boy.  I was having him do some canter work and I had the outside line behind his hindquarters (as opposed to over his back which is another way I often used it).  Things were going along fine until Grady started to get a little strong and I accidentally let the outside line get too high which he then clamped under his strong tailbone.  This only caused him to get stronger and I was unable to release the tension.  I tried keeping up with his increasing pace but eventually, I was pulled off my feet falling forward in a complete face plant in the dirt.  With this, I let the reins go and Grady was off and running to the end of the ring.  Luckily I was able to get right back on my feet and go catch Grady without too much trouble.  We finished up by doing a little more work at the walk and trot and called it a day.  That experience taught me to be extra aware of the outside line when using it behind the hindquarters but it didn’t deter me from continuing to practice.  Years later, I had the opportunity to take some long reining lessons with Karen, another great trainer who worked with Jayne, and I learned a lot.  I eventually got much better at it and even incorporated it into my work with clients’ horses in the future.

In April 2012, Jayne returned from Florida and we resumed our lessons.  I was looking forward to continuing what we had started and being consistent now that it was spring.  Our work with Jayne involved teaching Grady to understand specific aids from my leg, seat and hands to help influence certain parts of his body.  This also required me to make some subtle changes to my own position in the saddle.  Learning to sit deeper in the saddle, with a longer leg and more vertical upper body would help Grady differentiate the work he was doing now compared to the work he did as a youngster at the racetrack.  Even though his racing days were long behind him, those were his earliest memories of carrying a rider and racing was what he was bred to do.

Grady would sometimes get frustrated when he was learning new things but Jayne always stayed calm and patient and that was invaluable to us.  Over time, Grady found comfort in the new aids he was learning and really began to progress. 

One thing I noticed as time went on was that our lessons were always great, but my rides on my own were still touch and go.  Some days were good and some not great.  Grady seemed to really enjoy our time with Jayne and it helped focus me as well.  As much as I tried to be mindful and focused during our rides on our own, I just wasn’t always able to replicate the amazing feelings I would get out of Grady in our lessons.  We were progressing though, and we were having fun.

Even though it was still difficult, I found that I was looking forward to riding Grady again, rather than dreading it.  Grady was gaining confidence in all that he was learning and his body was getting stronger.  He began to look bigger and I got the feeling that he was happy to be working consistently again.  The groundwork I had done continued to be a part of our program and I felt like he enjoyed the variety in the things we did together.

The spring, summer and fall of 2012 was a time of growth for Grady and me and we both evolved quite a bit.  By November, we were ready for an outing.  We were going to spend a few days at Jayne’s farm and ride in a clinic with an Olympic dressage rider.  What a difference a year makes!

By Becky Adler Fagan

Hi readers!  I hope you’re all doing well.  It’s been a long time since my last post but I’m happy to finally publish this next chapter of our story.  It was a tough one to work on, but it also represents a huge turning point in my journey with Grady. 

If you’ve been following the story, you’ll remember that Jayne was recommended to me by my friend, James. {Click Here to read the previous post}  That recommendation turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened for Grady and me, and Jayne is still a huge part of our life to this day.

After James suggested that I contact Jayne, I was relieved and excited to have someone to call who might be able to help me with Grady.  I had known of Jayne from the horse show world but didn’t know her well.  I sent her an email explaining the situation and she got back to me the next morning.   She said she would be able to help me, however, she was leaving to train in Florida for the winter just after Christmas, so we only had a couple of weeks.  We set up a lesson for the beginning of the following week. 

Since I hadn’t been riding Grady that much, I thought it would be a good idea to get on him a couple of times before the lesson even though I really didn’t want to.  I had come to hate the feeling of frustration that came over me when things weren’t going well during our rides. The emotions that our unsuccessful rides brought to the surface caused an underlying feeling of dread when it came time to ride Grady.  I knew it wasn’t good to let my emotions get the best of me, but for some reason that was a really hard thing to overcome when it came to this horse.  Despite that feeling, something made me keep trying.

I didn’t plan to do much during these rides and I kept my expectations low, but I just wanted Grady to get used to having weight on his back again.  Even though he was pretty tense and would still try to bolt off to the right sometimes (this had become his signature move), we managed to get a little bit done.  I was really looking forward to seeing what Jayne thought. 

Jayne has an amazing ability to see the most minute things from the ground and her input was invaluable.  She counted on the fact that I was already a successful and tactful rider with a lot of education and experience.  Despite all that experience, I had never endured so much failure with so much sincere effort so I was open to trying new things.  Some adjustments to my position helped me start to teach Grady a new set of aids.  By learning how Grady responded to each aid, I could develop a system with sequences that he would come to understand.  This helped me change the perspective on my process.  Jayne never viewed Grady’s outbursts as a bad thing and always stayed calm and positive.  Instead, his reactions provided information that helped us further develop the process.  In time, Grady would come to find comfort in the aids that he learned.  Since our first session was so positive, we agreed that we should fit in one more before Jayne left for Florida. 

Jayne came back for another lesson a little over a week later.  It was late December and the days were short.  The light was waning, but we got started and Grady was trying his heart out.  He was listening well and, even though he would still act up once in a while, Jayne really helped me stay focused on clear aids, leaving the emotion out of it. 

As Grady was really getting into the zone, he started whinnying as if he was saying “I’m getting it!”. (I had never experienced this with a horse before. We later learned that he would do that when he was having a particularly strong “A-ha moment”, because he continued to do it over the next few years). He still acted up once in a while but we kept at it.  As the lesson progressed, Grady relaxed and started to feel really nice.  Jayne had me ask for more trot and Grady gave it to me.  I couldn’t believe how great he felt.  What a confidence boost! 

After some solid work at the trot in both directions, Jayne had me dismount and give Grady a treat.  I was so proud of him and he seemed pleased with himself. I felt like this was a huge breakthrough for us.  I actually could ride him.  I simply needed to be brave about my influence.  For two years, every time Grady would misbehave, I would worry about him and wonder what was wrong.  Now that we had explored all possible health issues, I felt comfortable pushing ahead and asking him to work. 

Jayne and I discussed that it was time to let all the past stuff go and simply start from the beginning again.  It didn’t matter what he did before – I had to learn how to ride Grady the way that worked for him now.  Over time, I would realize that what seemed like Pandora’s box was actually a treasure chest. 

My plan was to spend the winter practicing what we worked on and take it one day at a time.  Even if Grady ended up having some time off over the winter, I looked forward to continuing with Jayne in the spring.  It was the most hopeful I had felt in a long time.